Romans 8:24-25
24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
So, this will be my one and only post in the year 2014. I haven't even logged in to this page in what seems like ages. Upon logging in, I realized that my last post was in April of 2013. I would say that I have been slack, or that there wasn't anything to blog about, but the truth is...it hurt to much to put my feeling about our adoption into words. When you wait for so many, many months just to be let down time and time again, it gets hard to write about the emotional roller coaster of adoption. Praise God things have changed.
On New Year's Day, January 1st 2014, God gave me a word. He gave the word hope. I felt it like a whisper at first and then it became stronger and stronger. He spoke to me, and I felt Him say, "This is the year to renew your hope in My promises. I have not abandoned you or others who are waiting for my promises to be fulfilled." As the year went on, again and again, I would read verses confirming hope in my heart. This verse in particular sticks in my mind to this very day:
Romans 5:5 " Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
Hope does not disappoint. God is faithful.
These words continued to ring through my soul, even on the hardest days, when I thought disappointment might be the only feeling we would ever feel. You see, walking around, trying to live a normal life when your heart is in another country half way around the world is not an easy task. But we kept waiting....and waiting.
Then, everything changed.
On Friday, October 24th, we got a phone call that would change our lives forever. "She's a little girl. She's 2 and a half. I'm getting ready to e-mail you a picture". Oh. my. goodness.
Tyler rushed to pick me up from school. I had stayed late to work in my room. We sat in the car together and anxiously waited for the e-mail to pop up on our phones. Then it came! We could not hold back the flood of emotions over seeing our daughter for the first time! We scanned every image, every detail of her sweet self. The little bits of curly hair. The big, round brown eyes. The smooth, chunky cheeks. The day had finally come and it was better than I could have imagined it!
It took about a week for the shock to wear off. What fun we have had showing off her pictures and celebrating with friends and family who have walked this journey with us and who will continue to support us on the next leg of this adventure!
Friends, I know that this journey is not over. Really, it is only the beginning. But whatever we face, we will face it as a family. We will face it because SHE is worth it. And most of all, we will face it with the strength of God, knowing that He is faithful and will not disappoint.
I am not the same person I was when we began this journey. God has stretched me and brought me to new places that I never thought possible. And I know He's not anywhere NEAR done with me. I have seen a glimpse, a small taste of what is means to pursue someone in order to redeem their life and bring them into the loving arms of a family. God has allowed me to dip my toe in the vast ocean that is His love is for me and all mankind. How he pursues us, loves us, perseveres, not willing that any should perish. He longs for us to be a part of His family. HIS child. Redeemed from death to life.
The miraculous thing is that it is really God in it all. He chose our daughter before she was born. He loves her, cherishes her, so much more than we ever could. And we are simply His instruments. We are just saying yes, and He does the rest. He has asked us to say yes to things that are scary, out of our control, but oh so worth it. It is worth it. She is worth it.
I leave you with the words to a song that God has used more than once to break our hearts for what breaks His. Whatever He call you to...it's worth it.
Hope does not disappoint. God is faithful.
These words continued to ring through my soul, even on the hardest days, when I thought disappointment might be the only feeling we would ever feel. You see, walking around, trying to live a normal life when your heart is in another country half way around the world is not an easy task. But we kept waiting....and waiting.
Then, everything changed.
On Friday, October 24th, we got a phone call that would change our lives forever. "She's a little girl. She's 2 and a half. I'm getting ready to e-mail you a picture". Oh. my. goodness.
Tyler rushed to pick me up from school. I had stayed late to work in my room. We sat in the car together and anxiously waited for the e-mail to pop up on our phones. Then it came! We could not hold back the flood of emotions over seeing our daughter for the first time! We scanned every image, every detail of her sweet self. The little bits of curly hair. The big, round brown eyes. The smooth, chunky cheeks. The day had finally come and it was better than I could have imagined it!
It took about a week for the shock to wear off. What fun we have had showing off her pictures and celebrating with friends and family who have walked this journey with us and who will continue to support us on the next leg of this adventure!
Friends, I know that this journey is not over. Really, it is only the beginning. But whatever we face, we will face it as a family. We will face it because SHE is worth it. And most of all, we will face it with the strength of God, knowing that He is faithful and will not disappoint.
I am not the same person I was when we began this journey. God has stretched me and brought me to new places that I never thought possible. And I know He's not anywhere NEAR done with me. I have seen a glimpse, a small taste of what is means to pursue someone in order to redeem their life and bring them into the loving arms of a family. God has allowed me to dip my toe in the vast ocean that is His love is for me and all mankind. How he pursues us, loves us, perseveres, not willing that any should perish. He longs for us to be a part of His family. HIS child. Redeemed from death to life.
The miraculous thing is that it is really God in it all. He chose our daughter before she was born. He loves her, cherishes her, so much more than we ever could. And we are simply His instruments. We are just saying yes, and He does the rest. He has asked us to say yes to things that are scary, out of our control, but oh so worth it. It is worth it. She is worth it.
I leave you with the words to a song that God has used more than once to break our hearts for what breaks His. Whatever He call you to...it's worth it.
The Cost - Rend Collective
I'm saying yes to You
And no to my desires
I'll leave myself behind
And follow You
I'll walk the narrow road
'cause it leads me to You
I'll fall but grace
Will pick me up again
I've counted up the cost
Oh I've counted up the cost
Yes I've counted up the cost
And You are worth it
I do not need safety
As much as I need You
You're dangerous
But Lord You're beautiful
I'll chase You through the pain
I'll carry my cross
'cause real love
Is not afraid to bleed
Jesus
Take my all
Take my everything
I've counted up the cost
And You're worth everything
And no to my desires
I'll leave myself behind
And follow You
I'll walk the narrow road
'cause it leads me to You
I'll fall but grace
Will pick me up again
I've counted up the cost
Oh I've counted up the cost
Yes I've counted up the cost
And You are worth it
I do not need safety
As much as I need You
You're dangerous
But Lord You're beautiful
I'll chase You through the pain
I'll carry my cross
'cause real love
Is not afraid to bleed
Jesus
Take my all
Take my everything
I've counted up the cost
And You're worth everything
